living with so many standards and expectations are collapsing people off. it drives us nuts, and it surely doesn't give us much advantages as well.
i've been living with tags that are placed by my mother since the time she knew i could tell which one is right and wrong according to her point of view. and from that moment, i am used to being put by what others think of me. they categorize me as a child with no abilities in drawing, and so i've developed that mentality ever since. entering design school was hard, leaving it wasted away, looks so much easy.
i don't mind with norms put up by God, but not with what people called religion. it's man made, and i don't believe men. they made God's wisdom looks like business, with something terribly goin' wrong because of the wrong people who work in it.
i do mind with people trying to fix up what my future is gonna like. "you'll enroll to this college, graduated this year, go on to this college to take that degree, finishing it at this year. you'll be married with this kind of man, not that one. i don't like that kind of man. you'll be married at this age, not now, not 2 years from now, not even 4 years from now. you'll be married at the time i wanted. it's not about you, it's about me who aren't ready, it's about me and my standards. and you'll be paying for this, and that. you'll be responsible for these things for as long as you live. you'll be this kind of person who has those sort of thinkings. you'll grow old just like this. not like me, but better!"
with all of these at work, why bother finding out how to live it? i have to say, it's depressing. it's stressing your life unconsciously. it drives you into a person that is just not you. you thought you fulfill your dreams, when it's actually others' dreams. you walk into what you think was your success, only to find out that it doesn't gives you a happiness that success brought. it's useless. it's hardening.
but what's worse is facing people with bold and progressive mind. them who taught you, little by little how to rebel against these standardize lives. they took part rebelling against the world as a teenager. well, i guess i missed that!
they develop a whole kind of freedom, the one that you never see it coming in your life. at least not in a short run. they started to inject your head with thoughts of breaking free, owning your own projection of your future. determining your own decisions, and bold enough to make the wrong ones in order to actually learn from it, to be better.
what they don't know *according to your perspective* is the responsibility that you took. no, correction, that you were given, or is it passed over?
the responsibilites that you have now, determines what is right and wrong, what is need to be done and what is not, what is rightfully yours and what is not. you might want to reject it, but you can't.

living standardize lives is painful. it's one of the main thing that keeps you awake at night, thinking of why this didn't happened, and that didn't come up like you wanted it to be. it what drives people confused, every single second of their life. it maybe the thing that keep people away from what they actually want to have.

i'm living one right now. and today, i feel it pressuring me over and over again.
what could actually resurrect me from it?